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Murphy Martin Commentary
November 16, 2006
"Dreams - Reality?"
WE HAD A DREAM LAST
NIGHT. IT SEEMED VERY REAL. WE DREAMED
THE NEWLY ELECTED PRESIDENT, COULDN'T TELL IF THEY WERE REPUBLICAN
OR DEMOCRAT, BUT THEY WERE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION GIVING THE
FOLLOWING SPEECH:
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq dissidents
has been completed!Since congress does not want to spend any more
money on the Middle East our work in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the
order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This
action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.
This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia,
and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The
money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at
home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Mess with us
and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends
from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China?
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two
unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be
stripped, shredded, and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty
pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid
tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes,
Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops
in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want
to try not ticking us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
of extra tank and infantry divisions. Guess where I am going to put
em? Yep, border security! So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs
for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move
there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by
saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of
trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only
earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America . It is time to improve education and solve
rising health care costs! It is time to enforce immigration laws!
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you
and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You
might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you
and good night!
But then ... alas -- we AWAKENED ... and after making coffee we
turned on the TELEVISION and they were doing the news .. reporting
on Iraq unraveling...and, reporting on Rep. Nancy Pelosi's first
agenda when she becomes Speaker of the House in January. The
Democrats are salivating ... except maybe for Hillary Clinton! She
didn't really want another female Democrat in the Congressional
spotlight between now and 2008 but it is there now...Nancy Pelosi!
Get used to it Sen. Clinton, the traffic on your road to 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue just became more congested! That is not a
dream...that's real!
Murphy Martin
Your thoughts and comments forwarded to my website will be
appreciated.
e-mail
murphy@murphymartin.com
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