LA LA Land by George Mair

September 5, 2007

­SHOWBIZ AND HOLLYWEIRD

Aspiring authors may want to know about British author Roger Shashoua’s book “Dancing With The Bear.” It is the world’s most expensive book listed at over $3 million a copy and adorned with 600 dismonds****Hot new gossip biography is Ed Klein's latest Unauthorized Biography of CBS’ Katie Couric, In bookstores a week from today***** Katie Couric -- Phase II. Her ratings are poor so she’s off to Iraq to be shot at. That will teach her.****TV moguls are allowed use of the radio and TV channels—YOUR radio and TV channels – for free. That’s why broadcast moguls don’t want to aggravate politicians**** Even though NBC keeps claiming that relations between the network and Jay Leno are just fine, thank you, Jay is one unhappy boy****He has to leave NBC in 2009 no matter what his ratings.******Governor of California has cut mental health programs to save money, while preserving a tax break for yacht-buyers. *******Hot Dog! Leona Helmsley's dog inherits $5 million and will be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. Helmsley's grandchildren get nothing.

POLITICS AND OTHER STRANGE AMUSEMENTS

Following the details of Senator Larry Craig’s arrest for soliciting sex in a public restroom is an astounding exercise. It is incredible that any public official could possibly be that stupid. On the other hand, it may illustrate why what goes on in Washington does *****Hillary made excellent appearance on David Letterman being funnier and more charming than we have seen her including her own list of ten things that coould happen on Letterman’s show*******We predict Republicans will proclaim the chaos and violence that marks our withdrawal from Iraq (For people with short memories, consult Vietnam,) is the Democrats’ fault for forcing our pull out. Will Rogers said it, “America has no native criminal class. Unless, of course, you count Congress.”****

The bitter transatlantic row over Iraq intensified as another key British general lambasted the US for bungling the aftermath of the invasion..*****We will soon hear our American generals assessment of how the Iraq war is going but some British generals have already expressed their views****One said he lunched with Donald Rumsfeld and warned we were not going in with enough troops but Rumsfeld didn't want to hear that*****


``ELSEWHERE, ELSEWHAT, ELSEWHO, ELSEWHEN, ELSEWHY

Men ho lined up for a topless car wash in the town of Shirley, Long Island, New York were surprised when the topless washers were actually male firemen*****The fire departmenet donanted the money to charity*****A Russian man is recovering after his

ex-wife set fire to his male member in rage for his watching TV and drinking Vodka****The couple has been divorced for three years but living together because they can’t afford living alone**** This is not uncommon in Russia where property costs are very high.****On a more positive note, South African miners report finding the biggest diamond in the world, a 7,000 carat jewel the size of a coconut and worth at least £15million*****The owners say it will be kept safe "until we calm down and decide what to do"****

Copyright, 2007, George Mair, P.O. 535, Dana Point, California 92629

August 27, 2007

SHOWBIZ AND HOLLYWEIRD

Horror writer Stephen King was mistaken for a vandal during a surprise book-signing session in an Australian bookshop. The novelist popped into the Alice Springs store unannounced and signed copies of his new book before leaving. Some customers thought he was defacing the books. Store manager Bev Ellis who tracked him to a nearby supermarket, where she recognized him and thanked him for autographing his latest work, “Lisey's Story” *****Victoria Beckham, wife of soccer star David Beckham claims his infidelities strengthen their marriage. It probably gives a new meaning to “scoring.”


POLITICS AND OTHER STRANGE AMUSEMENTS

The White House has row, row, rowed the Texas kingmaker ashore.*****Even though Karl Rowe is officially quitting the White House, experts believe he will continue to be active in Republican politics******With Rowe gone, Bush immediately stuck his foot in his mouth. JFK followed a disastrous path for the US in his Vietnam war and now, apparently, Bush wants to do the same thing in Iraq using Vietnam as an example*****

Reminds us of the wise observation of the Spanish philosopher, “He who does not learn from history is doomed to re-live it***** Meanwhile the Hillary camp continues to hold it’s collective breathe for fear that Bill won’t keep his sexual appetites in control until after election*****rumors have been flying about a secret Canadian and a secret Hollywood girl friend.***** Nearly 600 volunteers stripped before the camera on a melting Swiss glacier high in the Alps on Saturday as part of a publicity campaign to expose the impact of climate change*****Eco-conscious volunteers turned up under blue skies near the foot of the Aletsch glacier, a protected UNESCO World Heritage site. Environmental group Greenpeace commissioned the photo shoot ******** Politicos on both left and right don’t tell us the truth. For example, if one believes some liberals, we should get all our troops out of Iraq immediately********In truth it will be years before all our troops are pulled out of Iraq. We still have troops in Japan, Korea and Germany over half a century after fighting a war in those places*****Maybe we should never go to war but whether we do or not, it is tough to pull out *****Most amazing political move of the week was Senator John Warner calling for us to pull out of Iraq.******He hasn’t done anything that surprising since he was dating Barbara Walters.*****Science and politics together. Astronomers at University of Minnesota have discovered a tremendous blank hole in the universe. ****The cosmic spot has no stars, no galaxies, no sucking black holes. It is 1 billion light years across of nothing. We think it was discovered earlier and named “Congress.”

ELSEWHERE, ELSEWHAT, ELSEWHO, ELSEWHEN, ELSEWHY

An elite kindergarten in China accepts only round headed students saying they are the smartest pupils. Owner Li Junjie says: "A round head indicates cleverness; a student with a flat head can never be outstanding no matter how hard he works."****Kasey Kazee held up a store in Ashland, Kentucky disguised with Duct tape around his head, but store owner Bill Steele also had some duct tape. It was wrapped around a baseball bat. He chased Kasey to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke hold until police arrived**** Forensic expert Ann Chamberlain of Michigan State Police lab suspected her husband was cheating on her and put his underwear through DNA tests in the police lab. She was right and he lost her and she lost her job***Copyright, 2007, George Mair, P.O. 535, Dana Point, California 92629

August 12, 2007

SHOWBIZ AND HOLLYWEIRD

Lot of excitement in L.A. over 34 million soccor star and his sexy wife. Attractive couple and 34 million is a lot but Soccer?*****Paris has faded from the public eye*****Oh, you fickle public******But she is selling her Beverly Hills home. 3 ½ bedrooms at an asking prices of $4.25 million*****Should Imus and/or Rosie come back on the airwaves?*** Neither contributes much to the wisdom of the day and mainly tends to be the kind of person our mothers taught us not to be******The famous Di Vinci painting is again the focus of mythical speculation after author Dan Brown based his "The Da Vinci Code" book around it. Now Slavisa Pesci, an information technologist says superimposing the "Last Supper" with its mirror-image throws up another picture with a figure who looks like a Templar knight and another holding a small baby****A town in California used to be the center of a festival about garlic. Now the garlic festival attention has moved to China*****Chinese man Bao Xishun has lost his title as world's tallest man to a Ukrainian Leonid Stadnik who,is eight five.

POLITICS AND OTHER STRANGE AMUSEMENTS

Why is the one candidate for President who has only been married to one woman a Mormon? *****The problems of Hillary and Bill appearing at plitical rallies together is nobody is thinking about Hillary*****moost exciting press Hillary has gotten recently was the flap in the Washington POST over her cleaveage*****Even that was mostly a tempest in a B-cup*****Our proposal for the all time, drop dead, incredible, sure-fire presidential winner this time is Hillary for President and Bill for vice prresident******It is constitutionlly legal, imaginative and exciting****Besides who is better for vice anything than Bill******Remember you heard it here first.*******

ELSEWHERE, ELSEWHAT, ELSEWHO, ELSEWHEN, ELSEWHY

The French are always doing something****Now comes word they have built Europe's highest toilet on the snow capped peak of Mont Blanc.Not as strange as it may seen because more than 30,000 visitors make their way to the peak each year and local mayor Jean-Marc Peillex said: "This move was much needed. "Our beautiful mountain's white peak was full of yellow and brown spots in summer." The two toilets were flown up Mont Blanc to a height of 4,260 metres. A helicopter will also be used to empty the toilets on a daily basis at peak times for visitors.*****Could this be the forerunner to pay potties on Mt. Everest?******

"After asking nearly 2,000 people why they had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons -- everything from 'I wanted to feel closer to God' to 'I was drunk.' They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child ******Copyright, 2007, George Mair, P.O. 535, Dana Point, California 92629.